I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
