Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
