You're so nebulous sometimes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
