Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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