You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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