let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
