I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
