well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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