I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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