Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
