im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
