I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
