whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
