I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
