Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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