my mouth tastes like poor choices
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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