I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
