it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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