I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
