Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I smell stomach acid.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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