her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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