i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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