Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
