You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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