I faked an abortion last night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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