well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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