I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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