Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
