Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
