dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
