oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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