Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
