saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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