She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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