it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Life is so much better after having sex.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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