"it" just moved
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we're making bets on your personal life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
