party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
