Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
