I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
