I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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