VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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