Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
