a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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