Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
