I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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