I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
