I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
