At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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