I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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