I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
