Plan B is the new Plan A
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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