Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
