I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
