It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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