I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How external is "for external use only"?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize