Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
