So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
