just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize