They should really pass out barf bags in church
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize