mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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