i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize